I watch a lot of TV. You could say, I am the very definition of a couch potato. Yet I also out doorsy. On the rare occasion that I get out into the open, I always enjoy come rain or shine. I always dream of getting there, making my mark, experience things that I pretend to experience through the looking glass that is my TV. I was always complaining but never doing.
Then I got into a relationship but it wasn’t good. Granted there was some good times but I felt myself changing becoming more dependent and as a result more anxious. I couldn’t stand up for myself. I didn’t realise that it was the relationship that was making me sad until I couldn’t do it anymore. I wanted to escape, get back to me.
Breaking up with him was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I knew it was right and I don’t regret it. Not when it has lead me here. My life has become even more complicated but not unbearable or even preventable.
The reason being i that after the break up, one of the first things I did was stop the trip I was planning with my ex. It wasn’t me. Instead I booked my flight to Uganda. A 6 week adventure doing missionary work.
The only other trip I took out of the UK was to Denmark, and that’s only a two hour flight away to a first world country. I didn’t really think it through. But then again, I am glad I didn’t. Even though there was hardships, seeing all these people in so much need, it was all worth it. Even me getting food poisoning and then an infection which to this date I don’t know where it was, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Because, while I was there I couldn’t have been happier. I met some awesome people and I did some good work that fulfilled my life with a purpose. With the help of one person in particular along with the life I lead in Uganda, I become more confident, more me. A got into a relationship that didn’t trap me but aloud me to spread out my wings and test them. Eventually, I found myself again, my inner happiness returned. Granted I still have my problems, doesn’t everybody? but I’m me.
My new boyfriend inspires me to do more with my life and its with his encouragement and his passion for these street kids, that I find myself with the confidence to walk 300 miles.